Your tone is the is the verbal inflection and style you use to communicate your thoughts and ideas. Tone is a critical element in communication that has more influence on how it is interpreted than on the actual words used.
Why Tone Is Important
Tone is one way your audience will perceive your attitude towards them and the topic you are talking about. Friends, family, clients, and partners respond best to tones that make them feel good. If someone takes an issue with your tone your message can get lost.
Techniques to Improve Tone
Change your mindset – Tone reflects the level of care you have for the person you are communicating with, so it’s important to adopt a mindset of helpfulness and understanding. Avoid the “I know more than you” or “why don’t you understand” mindset that leads to frustration and annoyance, which can come out in your tone.
Change your pace/slow down – More aggressive and anxious tones are often communicated at a faster pace. Try slowing down when communicating your thoughts to others. This will help you adopt a friendlier warmer tone.
Control your pitch – Pitch is how low or high your voice is. Your pitch gives an indication to how you communicate. If someone’s pitch elevates to higher notes while speaking, they may be received as defensive, immature, or even unsure of themselves.
Become more aware of your speaking habits – Ask how my tone is after conversations. How do people leave conversations with me? What speaking habits do I need to improve on?
Smile/Relax your face – When you smile, your face opens and stretches. This makes your tone friendlier. Smiling also signals to your audience good intent.
Practice – Practice your responses and phrases in situations ahead of time. Think about how you can respond differently next time if the interaction was not positive.
Ask for feedback – Getting feedback from others on how they receive your tone can provide valuable insight on what changes you need to make for others to leave with a positive interaction from you.
Watch For These Negative Tones In Communication
Professional Cold Tones
- Identified by monotone delivery
- Lacks energy and feeling
- Are absent of feeling and warmth
- Lack a desire to understand the audience
- Fails to convey the information in way that shows the audience that the speaker cares about them or the topic
Aggressive Tones
- Identified by higher pitch and faster delivery
- Comes across as defensiveness, combative, argumentative, and hostile
- Conveys to listener rejection of the other person’s perspective
- Conveys to listener annoyance, frustration and emotional triggers
Condescending Tones
- Identified by slower authoritative pitch and delivery
- Also identified by cynical or irreverent remarks
- Commonly comes across as sarcasm or childlike treatment
- Can come across by using industry jargon or academic language to make points in place of using common language
- Conveys to listener that the speaker is superior
- Lacks empathy
Bored and Apathetic Tones
- Identified by a flat, repetitive and sometimes laboring vocal pitch
- Absent of energy, enthusiasm and an interest in the audience and topic
- Commonly displayed through sighs, and lack of presence or eagerness to move on
- Conveys to the audience that you do not want to be there
Toxic Positive Tone
- Identified by a high pitched perky high volume vocal tone
- Also identified by unrestrained abrasive cheerfulness
- Can demonstrate that you are out of touch with the reality of a circumstance or situation
- Conveys to the audience a lack of understanding and empathy for their situation
- Displayed through overly used simplistic phrases, i.e. “everything happens for reason”
Tones That Lead To Positive Interactions
Conversational Tone
- Identified by varied pitch depending on points of emphasis; smooth delivery
- Personable, makes the audience feel connected and close to the speaker
- Conveys to the audience an interest and care for the listener through uses of common language, energy and an inviting approach
- Helps to build rapport with the audience
Curious Tone
- Identified by a slightly higher pitch than conversational tone
- Personable, makes the audience feel that you aspire to understand them and their interests
- This tone is often conveyed through questioning, i.e. “Can you tell me more”
- Helps you gain a better understanding of the client
